My testimony is not silence.

Believe it or not, often times in ministry, I’ve been told not to share my whole testimony (my past) because “it’s too much” or “you don’t want to scare the people”. I agree. But.

My past was scary, spooky, and sacrilegious. I was headed towards UTTER destruction. The only thing that saved me was the power and FEAR of GOD ALMIGHTY. I was (and still am) afraid to go to hell. Aren’t you? I’ve also been warned that some people in the church can’t handle who I am now if they know who I was then. My question (serious and hard question) is “Do they then NOT believe in the complete redemptive power of JESUS CHRIST?” Does my fruit of the Spirit today mean nothing in the face of what I used to be?

“And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Matt. 10:28 NKJV

No disrespect to anyone but how, especially during the most unholy time of the year, how do you expect for me to sit on this great testimony of God’s POWER to destroy the literal chains of destruction of my life? I respect your opinion, leadership and concern for me but I cannot be afraid of my story. satan has one goal: to wipe our existence from the face of the earth AND keep our names out of the Lamb’s book of life. he will use ANY means necessary to make sure we are burning for all eternity in the lake of fire right next to him. Until Jesus Christ came and delivered me, I was right there. How can I not tell the story of God’s Victory over my evil?

There are so many people who are right where I was, hell on earth and headed to hell in eternity. They are trapped in an endless cycle of deception, depravity and despondence. Many of them were born into this evil and pain, rejection and fear are a daily lifestyle. Others, like me, fell into evil because of the seduction of power, control and manipulation was too great to resist. In the world of satan, there is no hope, no light, no LIFE. Worse yet, you don’t know it until it’s almost too late. My testimony, therefore, cannot be silence. satan already took too much from me, he can’t have my story as well. I can’t hope to see others set free through willful thinking and fervent intercessor prayer only. We overcome by the Blood of the Lamb AND the WORD (speech, talk, oration) of our testimony! It’s cool to know I’m free. It’s liberating to know what I am free from.

I must tell my story. I will do it with caution. I will do it with compassion. I will do it with the knowledge that some people will be scared by what I did and who I knew. That’s ok. Sometimes we need to be scared of more than foreclosures, relationship rejection and other 1st world problems. Our very SOUL is at stake. The fear –(moral reverence, dreadful, exceedingly awesome, fearfulness) of the Lord is a fountain of life, to depart from the snares of death. (Prov. 14:27) That very fear of the Lord, saved my life. I will also do it with the awareness that others will hold against me what God has erased from His memory. They will accuse me today of being who I used to be, solely based upon the evidence provided to them by MY very testimony. That’s okay too. The Nazarenes tried so hard to make Jesus only the son of Joseph that they missed the evidence that He IS the Only begotten Son of God. If they did it to Him, then it’s good enough for me. I will give my testimony. And it will not be in silence.

Life without Christ is ugly, messy and sometimes, evil and scary. Your testimony may not fit into the acceptable range of what some people see as acceptable sin, shame and defeat. It might make many people uncomfortable, squirmy and even repulsed to hear out loud what they cannot imagine nor endure. Nevertheless, don’t let them silence YOUR story. If you went through it, and God brought you out, then be certain there are others going through too. They need you. The Word says that Jesus came to preach deliverance to the captives… yet He did not put a limitation on what type of captivity He would rescue us from. We have been rescued by Jesus from child prostitution, adultery, blood-letting, sorcery, meth addiction, voodoo, murder, gluttony, incest, domestic slavery, gang-banging, rape and depression, schizophrenia cussing. Some of us have been delivered from unspeakable evil and destruction that we brought upon others. It would curl the hair on the back of the toughest sailor to know what we’ve been through. BUT we made it through because of Jesus Christ, Yeshua HaMashiach our Savior, Deliverer and Redeemer.

Tell your story. It’s yours to tell.

Hell wants your silence.

satan desires your company.

Jesus granted your freedom.

People need your voice.

Overcomer, help them overcome.

Tell your story. It’s yours to tell.